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How Can I Stop Feeling Like an Imposter?

    Home Emotional Intelligence How Can I Stop Feeling Like an Imposter?

    How Can I Stop Feeling Like an Imposter?

    By Carolyn Stevens | Emotional Intelligence, I'm OK, You're OK, You As A Leader, Your Career | 0 comment | 19 June, 2018 | 9

    “Maybe I’m not capable of being the leader that I want to be.”

    “I’m not confident that I can do a decent job as an executive.”

    “Who do I think I am? Truth be known, I’m not really very effective in my role.”

     

    So many leaders talk about how they sometimes feel like a fraud in their role—and that they’re convinced they’re going to be found out.

    At times, they’re certain that they’re an imposter who’s not capable of doing a half-decent job, let alone shine in their role.

    They think that the career success that they’ve achieved so far was a fluke.

    Even Dr. Margaret Chan, when she was Director-General of the World Health Organisation, said,

    “There are an awful lot of people out there who think I’m an expert. How do these people believe all this about me? I’m so much 
aware of all the things I don’t know.”

     

    
You Can Turn It Around

    This “imposter syndrome” is very common—especially amongst female executives and leaders, but it shows up for many male executives and leaders at some point in their careers too.

    I know these thoughts and feelings are debilitating. The good news is that removing them is feasible, practical and do-able.

    Let’s face it, they are only subjective, emotional thoughts and feelings—that are highly likely to be unfounded.

     

     Confronting Your Imposter Syndrome

    These unfounded self-doubts need to be—must be—confronted so you can confidently progress your career.

    • First, be aware when any negative internal dialogue shows up

    • Ask yourself whether your thinking is realistic or if it’s unfounded

    • If your thinking is realistic, instead of beating yourself up, take precautionary action.

      Can you seek advice from an expert, for example? Or do you need to skill-up with something?

      If your self-doubts are unfounded, confront them for what they are.

    Acknowledge that your thoughts, feelings and internal dialogue is just this imposter stepping in. Your thoughts, feelings and internal dialogue are not the truth!

    Get into the habit of removing this negative bullshit that shows up in your head.

    Call it for what it is—and replace it with your memories of when you’ve shone in the past.


    Your Call to Action

    To turn your perception around, it’ll take more than calling yourself on this just once.

    You’ll need to consistently be aware of your internal dialogue—when it’s working well and when it’s not. Be alert to when you’re not being realistic in your head.

    Whenever you notice even the slightest bit of imposter syndrome is hanging out with you, call it for what it is—an unfounded self-doubt.

    Focus on where you’ve shone, the positive comments others have made about you and your work, where you’ve come from and where you are now.

    Hold your head high and step forward with courage and certainty.

     

    “My coaching program has given me a vastly improved ability to effectively 
and efficiently manage
    issues and conflict. Situations that I previously
viewed as difficult, and therefore sometimes
    procrastinated about, now 
seem a good deal more approachable.”

    —Managing Director, Investment Bank

     

    About the Author:

    Carolyn Stevens has worked with executives and leaders for more than 25-years.

    She’s helped hundreds of leaders flourish and become more confident, courageous and impressively influential (including those who’ve previously struggled to confront difficult situations, let alone persuasively deal with them).

    Plus, as a personal career strategist, she specialises in helping ambitious female senior executives create a reputation as an indispensable world-class leader.

    Carolyn is authentic and results-oriented. She’ll draw on an eclectic array of approaches, tools and techniques to suit your situation.

    She’s never too busy to talk to you if you’re in a hurry to boost your success. Same goes for leaders you refer.

    Just email if you’d like to arrange a time to chat: carolyn@leadingperformance.com.au

    confidence, emotionally intelligent, EQ, imposter syndrome, leadership development, self-doubts, you as a leader

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