Follow Your Natural Tendency At Your Peril
It’s not that tough is more effective than tender, or that tender is more effective than tough…
It’s that some leaders automatically take a tough stanceyou know, those firm leaders whose decisions are based on a detached logic, who take a no-compromise position, whose judgment disregards sentiment or feelings.
And other leaders automatically take a tender stancethose supportive, encouraging, caring leaders who put a lot of weight on the relationship, who genuinely consider others and the impact that their judgment will have on the people involved, even disregarding the logic of the situation.
We all have a natural tendency—and natural tendencies so often get us into trouble!
Stop—Check The Context Before You Respond
Tough is good, sometimes. And tender is good, sometimes. It depends on the situation. Some leaders have an instinctive awareness of when to be tough and when to be tender—and others don’t.
So Exactly Which Situations Call for a Tough Stance?
- Numerous instances of aggressive, abusive behaviour toward others?
- Frequent breaches of safety?
- Regularly ignoring company policy?
- Several instances of security breaches?
What examples of the need for tough behaviour show up in your workplace?
Which Situations Call for a Tender Stance?
- Regular daily interactions in which you want the other person to feel valued and respected by you?
- Interacting with a team member, or anyone really, whose self-assurance has been shaken?
- Missing a crucial meeting without warning because of a serious family illness?
- Chatting with a person who’s been on the other end of aggressive, abusive behaviour?
Which of these examples are true for your workplace? And what others would you add?
Your Next Step
Which circumstances are you exposed to that would benefit from more of the opposite behaviour, the one that doesn’t come as naturally to you?
You CAN actually change your behaviours and create more impressive results. Your behaviour isn’t preordained :-).
What will you do so that you’re always tough enough to get results—yet tender enough to take care of the feelings of the people involved?
How To Turn Things Around And Completely Remove The Threats To Your Success
Now here’s the thing: Changing your behaviours, thereby radically boosting your success, is a lot easier when you have support.
For 25-years I’ve worked with hundreds of leaders helping them boost their success. Most of these leaders came to me with a need to find out how they could enhance their leadership practices and behaviours—and create a more successful, satisfying and fulfilling career.
To further explore my approach and find out if it’s right for you, email me (firstname.lastname@example.org) to arrange a phone chat about your particular circumstances and needs.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Carolyn Stevens has worked with leaders for more than 25-years—hundreds of them.
She’s supported leader after leader (including those who previously struggled to confront the difficult, let alone persuasively deal with the it) flourish—and become confident, courageous and impressively influential.
Carolyn is authentic and results-oriented. She draws on an eclectic array of approaches, tools and techniques to suit the situation.