+61 4 1203 0947
carolyn@leadingperformance.com.au
Leading PerformanceLeading PerformanceLeading PerformanceLeading Performance
  • Ambitious Female Leaders
  • Accelerating Your Career
  • Book: “Confident, Candid & Courageous”
  • About Carolyn Stevens
  • Media Interactions
    • Turning Anxiety On Its Head
    • Meetings, Bloody Meetings
    • Make An Apology Really Count
    • Why Do We Avoid Tricky Conversations
    • Strategies for female senior executives
  • Leadership Blog Directory

How To Manage Your Emotions

    Home Emotional Intelligence How To Manage Your Emotions

    How To Manage Your Emotions

    By Carolyn Stevens | Emotional Intelligence, You As A Leader | 0 comment | 4 March, 2015 | 0

    There’s now heaps of research about how the best leaders have high emotional intelligence (EQ).

    And a large part of a leader’s high EQ is them having:

      • An awareness of their mood, and
      • The ability to manage their thinking.

    They know that it’s their thinking that needs to shift when their mood isn’t constructive—because it’s their thinking that governs their mood.

     

    The Impact Of You Being In-A-Funk

    Simply put, you can’t be a good leader if you can’t manage how you feel.

    When you’re experiencing a funk-like feeling such as anxiety, frustration or stress, it’s likely that you’ll exhibit undesirable behaviours such as avoiding reality, blaming others or making excuses.

    On the other hand, when you’re feeling optimistic, patient and supportive to others, you’ll have constructive leadership behaviours such as being solution-oriented and taking ownership, for example.

     

    Here’s The Clincher: You Have A Choice About How You Feel

    You can focus on what’s not OK, on what you don’t like, and on what’s wrong. Or you can focus on what’s good in your life—on what you could appreciate.

    It’s this state of appreciation that’ll create your positive, constructive state of mind.

    It’s simply impossible to feel grouchy, annoyed, sad, etc when you’re feeling appreciative.

     

    Appreciation Is Higher-Level Thinking

    If the way you habitually think and behave is judging, blaming, stressed, depressed, anxious or grouchy, it really is critical that you take action to turn your state-of-mind around.

    It’s time for you to be hyper-vigilant about how others might see you. Your behaviour has a serious impact on performance!

    Will you ask others, maybe a couple of trusted team members, if they consider you to be mostly up or down, optimistic or anxious, happy or sad, relaxed or frazzled?

    You might want to validate their responses by checking in with a couple of peers too.

     

    And It Doesn’t Usually Take Much Tweaking…

    …as the apparently true story about the blind beggar demonstrates:

     

    He sat on the footpath with a sign, “I am blind, please help me.” Donations were small and scarce.

    A woman walked by, looked at the blind man’s sign, and wrote a new message on the other side of the placard.

    People then stopped as they walked by. And many donated.

    The blind man asked the woman, “What did you do with my sign?”

    “I wrote the same thing, just different words” she responded.

    The new sign said, “It’s a beautiful day and I can’t see it.”

    As soon as the blind man’s begging was superseded with an appreciative message, his passers-by responded positively. And so it is for leaders!

     

    Your Action Plan

    I promise, you’ll eliminate career-limiting, negative emotional states, such as grouchiness, anxiety, depression, stress, blaming and judging, as soon as you feel genuine appreciation.

    You’ll need to figure out what you can do to develop this habit of appreciating.

    For me, an electronic daily reminder on my “To Do List” works well. Some leaders put a moveable sticker in their “Day Book”. Others remember to appreciate every morning when they wake up and every night before they go to sleep, or on-the-hour-every-hour.

    The important thing is that you do something that’s effective for you—because managing your emotional state by feeling appreciative is an essential element of you being the best leader you can be!

    ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

    Carolyn Stevens has worked with leaders for more than 25-years—hundreds of them.

    She’s supported leader after leader (including those who previously struggled to confront the difficult, let alone persuasively deal with the it) flourish—and become confident, courageous and impressively influential.

    Carolyn is authentic and results-oriented. She draws on an eclectic array of approaches, tools and techniques to suit the situation.

    No tags.

    Related Posts

    • Want To Stop Feeling Like an Imposter?

      By Carolyn Stevens | 0 comment

      “Maybe I’m not capable of being the leader that I want to be.” “I’m not confident that I can do a decent job as an executive.” “Who do I think I am? Truth be known,Read more

    • Optimism As A Choice

      By Carolyn Stevens | 0 comment

      Here’s a short but important message from Seth Godin:   Optimism As a Choice If your team is up by thirty points at halftime, it’s not optimistic to expect that you’re going to win–it’s aRead more

    • The Real Costs of You Feeling Anxious & Overwhelmed

      By Carolyn Stevens | 0 comment

      As a leader it’s essential that you don’t put “the cart before the horse”. We know that doesn’t work. And jumping into action when you feel anxious and overwhelmed, before you’ve developed a constructive mindset,Read more

    • How Do Brilliant Leaders Think?

      By Carolyn Stevens | 0 comment

      “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” —George Bernard Shaw   Brilliant leaders think differently to not-so-brilliant leaders. This is good news—given that you’re 100% in control of the way you think.Read more

    • As a Female Leader, What Can You Do In These Challenging Times?

      By Carolyn Stevens | 0 comment

      I don’t think we have any option but to accept what’s going on in this interesting new world we live in—and plan a bright future for ourselves, both as a person on the planet andRead more

    Categories

    • Communication
    • Conflict Management/Tough Conversations
    • Delegation
    • Emotional Intelligence
    • Feedback
    • I'm OK, You're OK
    • Influencing Others
    • Meetings
    • People Leadership
    • Strategic Leadership
    • Teamwork
    • Time & Stress Management
    • Trust
    • You As A Leader
    • Your Career
    • 2020
    • 2019
    • 2018
    • 2017
    • 2016
    • 2015
    • 2014
    • 2013
    • 2012
    • 2011
    • 2010
    • 2009

    Recent Leadership Blogs

    • Are You Making THE Biggest Mistake Leaders Make? 10/11/2020
    • Want To Stop Feeling Like an Imposter? 12/10/2020
    • Optimism As A Choice 14/09/2020
    • The Real Costs of You Feeling Anxious & Overwhelmed 05/08/2020

    Contact

    Carolyn Stevens

    +61 412 030 947

    email

    PO Box 196
    North Sydney
    NSW 2059
    Australia

    Privacy Policy

    Copyright 2022 | Leading Performance Pty Ltd | All Rights Reserved | Site design by Baxter Studios
    • #11829 (no title)
    • “I Don’t Have A Safe Place To Talk Through My Fears And Concerns”
    • “I Don’t Like To Admit It, But There Are Times When I Avoid Confronting A Team Member”
    • “I Sometimes Avoid Jumping In And Dealing With Tricky Situations”
    • “I’m Certain I’m Not Always Seen As A Strong And Capable Leader”
    • “I’m Not Totally Confident That I Can Always Get Others To See Things My Way”
    • “I’m Often Buried With The Tactical And Operational, Which
      Prevents Me From Having Time To Think Strategically”
    • “I’m Strong Enough And Capable Enough To Solve My Own Problems”
    • “I’m Surviving, Not Thriving”
    • “Maybe I’m Not Capable Of Being The World-Class Executive That I Want To Be”
    • “There’s A Part Of Me That Wants To Be More Courageous And Speak My Truth More Often”
    • About Carolyn Stevens
    • Accelerating Your Career
    • AFR & VA
    • Ambitious Female Leaders
    • Blog
    • Book: Confident, Candid & Courageous
    • Checkout Book Confident Candid Courageous
    • Coaching Leaders
      • Career or Outplacement Coaching
      • Deal With Your Roadblocks
      • Leader Coaching
    • Consult
    • Home
    • Homepage
    • Leadership Blog
    • Leadership Blog Opt-In
    • Leadership Blog Opt-in
    • Leadership Blog Opt-in Confirmation
    • Logged Out
    • Login (redirect only)
    • Make An Apology Really Count
    • Media Interactions
    • Meetings, Bloody Meetings
    • Privacy Policy
    • Test
    • The Engaging Female Leader Questionnaire
    • The Engaging Female Leader Thank You
    • Turning Anxiety On Its Head
    • Why Do We Avoid Tricky Conversations
    • Your Coaching Resource Centre
    Leading Performance