Leaders who don’t master conflict are leaders who grapple with managing their tension and stress—and who unwittingly stall their careers.
You’re reading a great article for you if:
- You feel nervous, or even powerless, when conflict strikes, or
- You find yourself side-stepping hard-to-handle, difficult situations, or
- You have an inkling that your success, and your career, could be hampered because you haven’t been stepping up and dealing with conflict—as an admirable leader would.
To be honest I notice that, at times, nearly all leaders want to feel more courageous and more settled inside when it’s time for them to confront a difficult issue or a difficult someone.
This Report On What Works, And What’s Likely To Trip You Up, Will Turn Some Of Your Thinking About Conflict On Its Tail
- You’ll quickly discover which of the 7 dangerously-destructive approaches to conflict you’ve unwittingly adopted, and…
- You’ll be able to replace those 7 dangerously-destructive approaches with 7 confident-and-constructive alternatives.
Let’s face it, conflict is highly likely to be resolved when it’s managed constructively—and the reverse is also true.
Please Know, With Regard To You And Conflict, It IS Possible For Metamorphosis To Take Place!
In my intimate, one-on-one work with leaders since 1999, I’ve seen metamorphosis take place on oodles of occasions—and a fundamental of all those massive shifts has been the leader discovering the keys to having others see their point of view.
At the end of this bulletin, I’ll tell you more about how you too can completely remove your career limiting behaviors and radically improve your career opportunities.
Right now, let’s go ahead and discover how you can take your next step in having others see your point of view—by looking at the 7 dangerously-destructive approaches and their 7 confident-and-constructive alternatives…
| Dangerously-Destructive Ways To Manage Conflict: The 7 Big Mistakes That Will |
Confident-And-Constructive Ways To Manage Conflict: Here’s How You Can Completely Turn Things Around |
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You’ll struggle to get the conflict resolved if this describes your approach…
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You’ll resolve conflict like a professional, like an admirable leader, when…
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1. You attempt to win regardless of the impact that your win has on the other person. “What could work for them?” isn’t something that enters your head.
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1. You focus on a win/win outcome. If you can’t think of a win for them, you say something like, “It’s important to me that we figure out something that’s going to work for both of us. What’s going to work for you?”
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2. You’re somewhat accusatory and blaming.
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2. You only point your finger inwardly—at your own chest. You want something to change—and you never attribute blame. You just get on with things, without getting tied up with “who’s responsible for this happening”.
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3. You don’t habitually seek to understand how things are in their world. You don’t consider getting out of your shoes and asking yourself “How is this situation for them?”
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3. You reflect on the other person’s position—their situation, their needs and their concerns. You get how critical it is to understand how the world looks from their perspective.
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4. You’re impulsive when you make statements and answer questions. You react, rather than respond skilfully.
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4. Your responses are thoughtful, pragmatic and measured. You’re aware of the costs of reacting emotionally—and you avoid it at all costs.
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5. You steer clear of saying how you feel about something—and you often express your negative feelings with an emotional outburst.
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5. You openly communicate how you’re feeling when your feelings are relevant to the situation—and before they’ve grown and gotten out of control. You often say things like, “I’m frustrated by xyz”, or, “I’m chuffed about where we can take this.”
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6. It’s not top-of-mind for you to think respectfully about them. There’s a good chance that your behaviour has indicated that you don’t respect them. “Sooner or later we act out what we really think!”
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6. You think of them in a respectful way—and you behave respectfully towards them. You listen attentively and supportively, and you let them know that you’ve heard their perspective.
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7. Your focus is on what’s not OK. You talk about the ins-and-outs of the problem—at length.
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7. You’re solution oriented. As soon as you have enough of an understanding about the problem, you quickly move on to talking about how it might be resolved—what are some possible solutions.
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When Your Approach Is “Destructive”…
…you’ll provoke feelings of frustration and anger. The other person will try and find a way to get even with you. And communication is likely to shut down.
That’s not only going to be bad for productivity, it’s clearly career limiting behaviour too.
When You’re “Constructive”…
…you’ll get important issues on the table. And you’ll stimulate critical thinking and creativity.
Productivity will radically improve—and your career options will radically improve too!
Your Next Step
Changing these behaviours is simple—but far from easy.
The simple bit about the 7 constructive behaviours is understanding what needs to be done. The hard bit is habituating the new behaviour.
After all, you’ve spent a few years practising some of those destructive behaviours, right?
But not only do you need to have 100% consistency with the constructive behaviours, you also need to be so impeccable with them that the people around you completely shift their perception of you.
How will it be when you’re perceived as ingenious when it comes to dealing with conflict—and you easily confront it straight up, the minute you have an inkling that conflict is lurking?
How To Turn Things Around And Completely Remove Your Career Limiting Behaviours
Now here’s the thing: Changing your behaviours, thereby radically boosting your success, is a lot easier when you have support.
For 25-years I’ve worked with hundreds of leaders helping them boost their success. Lots of these leaders came to me with a need to more influentially deal with tough issues.
To check out my approach and find out if it’s right for you, email me (carolyn@leadingperformance.com.au) to arrange a phone chat about your particular circumstances and needs.
Here’s to your success with completely turning things around, and self-assuredly dealing with tough issues once and for all 
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Carolyn Stevens has worked with leaders for more than 25-years—hundreds of them.
She’s supported leader after leader (including those who previously struggled to confront the difficult, let alone persuasively deal with the it) flourish—and become confident, courageous and impressively influential.
Carolyn is authentic and results-oriented. She draws on an eclectic array of approaches, tools and techniques to suit the situation.
