Carolyn Stevens
Leading Performance
Leading Performance
“I Like Me More When I’m Around You”

Written by Carolyn Stevens, Executive Coach, Leader Coach & Team Coach based in Sydney, Australia.

It truly is a humungous compliment when someone thinks this about you .

Imagine if most or all of your team members regularly had the “I like me more when I’m around you” thought about you…

The positive impacts of creating the sort of relationship that generates this thinking are huge:

  • First there are the concrete business benefits:

    —Discretionary effort skyrockets.
    —Team member turnover is minimal.
    —Morale in your team is to-die-for.

  • And then there are the positive emotions that flow:

    —Trust levels are remarkably high.
    —It’s an awfully good working environment.
    —Both you and your team member feel great because of the level of connection in your relationship.

What Can You Do To Create More Of These Relationships?

It’s a few important little things that’ll have you creating more of these relationships.

If I’m one of your team members, the three critical building blocks for me to “like me more when I’m around you” are for you to:

  1. Be as candid as you can with me—build real trust with your honesty

    You’ll need to allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to tell the truth about what you’re thinking and how you’re feeling. An authentic connection between us is nigh impossible without you stripping away your shield that hides your vulnerability.

    And, by the way, it’s going to be really hard for me not to reciprocate.

  2. Help me feel valued—help me feel good about myself

    Give me the sort of quality attention that you give to a person you admire. Promptly respond to my emails and messages. Help me be my best by giving me feedback about where you think I’m well on track and where I could be more on track. Invest time in my development with your mentoring and coaching.

    Our self-esteem is impacted more by how valuable we feel than it is by what we achieve!

  3. Make time for me

    OK, I know that you’re really, really busy—and rushing just isn’t going to cut it! How important do you think I’ll feel if you gallop through our conversation so that you can get to your next meeting?

The more of these three things you do the more “I like me more when I’m around you”. And as we slide down the scale to them being close to zero, the opposite will apply.

Your Leadership Call to Action

Decide how important it is for you to have high discretionary effort, low team member turnover, high morale, high trust, a good working environment and good connecting relationships with each team member.

And then decide how much you’ll up your candour, help your team members feel valued and make more time for them.

Turn those taps on and watch the business benefits and the positive emotions flow .

Keep keeping me posted on your progress, won’t you?


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Contact Carolyn
PO Box 196, North Sydney,
NSW 2059, Australia
 +612 9960 7699
 +61 412 030 947
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