Difficult people can be exasperating!
You put so much mental energy into thinking about them, allowing thoughts about them to niggle away at you.
How can you resolve this?
Step One: Make a Decision
Make a realistic decision about whether or not you’re able to change things with them.
And if you don’t think you can reshape things for the better, drop it.
Yep. If you don’t think you’re able to change things, or if you don’t think it’s worth investing the time and energy into resolving the situation, find a way to drop it in your mind.
It’s time to:
- Stop beating yourself up because you haven’t been able to fix the situation, and
- Stop complaining about it and being irritated about it.
It’s hard to let this sort of stuff go, I know. And, for your own well being, you need to remove the issue from your mind, turn the other cheek, walk away from it, turn a blind eye to it.
I’m thinking about a particular person’s behaviour I’ve been trying to reshape, without success, for years. I’ve now realised that it’s time for me to drop it. I’m going to turn a blind eye to it. It’s not worth me putting my emotional energy into it. It is being dropped!?
Step Two: Stick With Your Decision
Once you’ve decided to either drop it, or do something about it, you need to stick with that decision.
No revisiting it—no letting the complaining or irritation creep back in.
By the way, as you stood back and made a “I’m-going-to-deal-with-it” or “I’m-going-to-drop-it” decision, you will have removed an amount of the emotion from the situation. This will make dealing with it easier, if that’s what you chose to do.
Your Leadership Call To Action
As you think about your “difficult person”, are you going to deal with that situation—or drop it?
And, having made that decision, will you stick with it, without revisiting it—or letting any complaining or irritation creep back in?
Give me a yell if you want to invest time and energy in enhancing your expertise with difficult people.
I’ve noticed that we’re a lot more relaxed when we’re polished, when we have mastery, in this field.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Carolyn Stevens has worked with leaders for more than 25-years—hundreds of them.
She’s supported leader after leader (including those who previously struggled to confront the difficult, let alone persuasively deal with the it) flourish—and become confident, courageous and impressively influential.
Carolyn is authentic and results-oriented. She draws on an eclectic array of approaches, tools and techniques to suit the situation.